Isabel is 2 Months Old

I can't believe how fast time has gone by. Isabel is 2 months old and a swear she looks different everyday. It is like she is trying on different faces, deciding which one she wants to stick with. She has started to make cooing and squealing noises. Super cute! I can't really remember this stage of Max's developement, but looking back at the pictures sure does bring on the water works. I am so blessed to have 2 wonderful, beautiful children.

I meant to post this last night, but she had a pretty bad reaction to the vaccinations. When she woke up from her nap after the doctor appointment she screamed for almost an hour and a half. It was a blood curdling, I am in pain, kind of cry. WOW! What a set of lungs! We managed to get some tylenol in her but she contiunued to cry for another 45 minutes. Eventually she calmed down, fed and fell back to sleep. When we tried to give her another dose, we discovered she has an excellent gag reflex. The medicine and all of that precious boob juice hit the floor in a projectile vomit. After a bath and a little more boob juice she fell right to sleep and didn't wake up again until 2.

Today she seems to be fine, a little irritable, but eating and napping without much drama. So anyway, her are her stats. She is shaping up quite nicely.

10.5 pounds

22.05 inches

14.96 inch head circumference

She is in the 25th percentile for weight, the 30th percentile for height and the 40th for head circumference. Clearly she has a big brain, just like her big brother. Going to be a genius, obviously!

Here are a couple of pictures of the little sister.

 Happy baby!

Can't tell you how much we love her. She is finally starting to smile and coo and it is making the sleepless nights a little more bearable.

I had to put this photo in. I reminds me of body builders and that silly pose they do to show off their arms and chest. Or a Greek God ready for war. Goofy, I know. It's those sleepless night I tell you.

Train Ride

Max is a member of the Northwest Railway Museum, so we get to ride the train twice a year for free. He loves it and it is kind of fun to take a break and hop on the train to North Bend and back. This time we got off in North bend and had lunch, walked around and checked out some of the stores that we pass nearly everyday and had a great time. The bonus...it was Isabel's first train ride.

 For Max, it doesn't get much better then riding the train!!

 Isabel seemed to enjoy it to, I guess. Her eyes were wide open the entire time.

A little brotherly love while we waited for our food. He adores her!

Max At School

So Max has been thoroughly enjoying his time at school. He even mentions his teachers at home, Miss Leslie and Miss Krista. They are amazing women. Anyone who can wrangle 5 toddlers into an organized group for stories, playtime, learning, crafts and more, God bless them. At home we are noticing he is more talkative and has a little more emotional control.

 But the best benefit is the confidence he is gaining in being able to do things, "by myrelf!" His word. He has trouble with his s and f sounds. He is rapidly getting better at dressing himself, picking up his toys and wait for it...going potty!!!! He has not had an accident, at school, since he started. Ha le lu ya!!

We, of course have been working on this for months but he needed the extra push to get even better at it. After a small hiccup during which he got the stomach flu for 3 days, he is regularly going to the potty in the big toilet and doing it without asking for help. He has even transitioned to peeing standing up at the big toilet. I chuckle when I see it because his penis just barely comes over the bowl, but it is cute as heck! That's my big boy.

Anyway here are some awesome pictures that the teachers took for a project about friends at school.

 I love this picture!! Happy boy on the first day of school.

 Playing on the playground with what else, trucks!

He loves safety goggles! Wears his own at home all the time. The school obviously has a rockin pair as well.

Lost a Friend

I lost a friend on September 12th. Damian and I were neighbors, his parents sent him to a private school for smart people and I went to the public high school for the area. We had very little in common but would spend hours, late into the night, leaning on my garage door and talking about the future and what we wanted out of life. I had no direction, or rather my only direction was stardom in Hollywood, and he was driven to succeed. I watched as he went to college right after high school and I played. We hung out while he was at UCLA and that is partly the reason why I eventually went there. We stayed in touch when he went off to get his masters degree in Virginia. I even visited him there.

Never in my life had I encountered someone so focused and sure of himself. Failure was not an option for him. He wanted it all. After he finished at UVA he went on to UC Davis for medical school. By then we had lost touch. He always used to say it would be me who kept our friendship alive. I am not sure where I was in my life that I stopped persuing that friendship so I can't say there was any really good reason for it, but I so incredibly regret it now.

He was one of the only people in my life that made me feel like I could do anything too. He never seemed to question whether or not I would succeed. He was always teasing me about my choices though. Laughing at my stories of late night partying with the Hollywood crowd, but always asking me what I wanted out of life. 

I know he got what he wanted. Married with two handsome boys, a successful anesthesiologist going to become chief of anesthesology and an avid triathlete. We reconnected through facebook but never really talked. I watched for his posts and followed anonymously with hundreds of others when his kids were born. I feel his loss so much more now because of my own kids and my thoughts continually turn to his wife and how she must be struggling to keep things together for their kids. How do you explain to 2 toddlers who constantly ask "where is daddy," that he isn't coming back, only to have to explain it again tomorrow when they repeat the question. My heart breaks everytime I think about it.

So Damian, thank you so much for you friendship and guidance all those years ago. I hope you knew how much your friendship meant to me. I will miss your sense of humor, your passion to succeed and the subtle way you would cajole me into doing the right thing.

The big D and I.

He is teasing me for sticking my boobs out for the picture. I kept telling him I was just standing up straight and putting my shoulders back! I miss you big Daddy!

Damian J. Horstman
1972-2012

Maxwell's Stats

I realize that Maxwell has been 3 for over a month now but we only just got in to see his doctor for his well child visit. I guess I picked a good doctor because he is swamped at back to school time for physicals and such. Anyway here are the big boys stats:

27 pounds

36 1/4 inches

The doctor says he looks great and he calmed my fears of Maxwell not gaining much weight. Appearently toddlers don't gain much weight between 2 and 6 years old. Only averaging about 3 pounds a year. Boy is that a relief! I thought I wasn't feeding him enough.

He still is only in the 15th percentile for height and 8th percentile for weight, but the doctor says he is following a really nice growth curve and he is very happy with his growth.

Big Brother Love

I have been feeling lately, honestly since Isabel arrived, that I have not been able to give Maxwell the love and attention that he deserves. Many of my friends with multiple children tell me that this is all normal. My OBs nurse even said something like, he got 3 years of undivided attention, she will never have that, it all balances out. Anyway, I have been rather melancholy about the whole thing.

Maxwell is amazingly perceptive. He has been telling me for 2 days now that he wants me to be happy. WOW!! Out of the mouths of babes. I have really been missing our snuggle time after bath and reading stories. But for the last 2 nights Terry has been working late and I have had to manage things by myself and amazingly I have been able to get 2 nights of snuggles and bath playtime in. I feed Isabel, put her in bed, awake or asleep and hang with my little man. It has been fabulous!

One of my friends, with 4 kids, told me that he probably hasn't even noticed the lack of time that I have for him and to just take small moments to play and love on him throughout the day. I put it into practice today and I did wonders for my psyche. It is true though, Maxwell has no idea. He show no resentment toward Isabel. On the contrary, he dotes on her. He wants to play with her, hold her, lay down with her, kiss on her and love on her. When he holds her hand he says he is coupled on to her. When he offers something to Terry or I, a car, a cookie, whatever, he always asks her if she wants one to. It melts my heart!

He really is the best big brother! I love his kind heart and generous nature and I can only strive to be the best parent for him. The parent he thinks I am. I hope I live up to his expectations. Lord knows he blows mine away everyday with his thoughtfulness.

I love you my bestest boy! You make me proud to be your mommy!

Tummy Time with Isabel

I have finally gotten into the groove of having a baby and remembering all the things that we should be doing to encourage her happy, healthy growth. Okay, so I'm a little late to the show, seven weeks, but better late then never.

 Here she is. This picture doesn't show how good she is at lifting her head. The camera isn't fast enough.

 This picture comes pretty close. She is working hard and Max loves being close by and helping.

He loves his baby sister and she will be chasing after him in no time.

Ocean City State Park

Every year we try to go camping, usually in August, but whenever we can get there. I came late to the camping thing but I really do enjoy it. As I have said before it is mostly because I don't have to do anything but the packing and set up the bed. Terry takes care of everything else, cooking, cleaning, set-up and breakdown. FAB U LOUS!! We usually go with Aunt Judy and Uncle Dave to Ocean City State Park but this year we ventured out on our own. We put the memories of last year out of our minds...it rained...alot, and set out for Isabels first campout. Why not with a baby? Max was a camper at 6 weeks old.

When we left Snoqualmie it was hot and we checked the weather forecast for the beach. They were calling for temperatures in the 70's, so I packed the sunscreen and my bikini. Yippee!! A little color on my cheeks, if you know what I mean! Max hated the car ride, but what kid enjoys being cooped up in the car for over 2 hours? As we approached the coast we noticed the coastal fog...should have been a warning, but we of course pressed on. We got there, set up camp and headed to the beach. It was a little chilly and very windy but we made the most of it!

Daddy always brings his kite to the ocean and now Max is old enough to enjoy it.

 Ready to go daddy, just get it in the air!

 The smile says it all.

That night it rained!! We woke up to a very wet campsite and a cold windy day. Max has no problem with adversity. He just goes with the flow. I love that about him and I hope that my issues never cloud his perspective. Before getting back in the car for another looooong journey home, we, Max and daddy played on the beach, Isabel and and I hung out in the warm car, eating and reading, respectively.

 Max loves to direct how the play goes. Here he is telling daddy what to do.

 Max sticks his tongue out when he concentrates, just like Grandpa!

 Cold and windy, but very happy.

Max is such a happy boy. I love his ability to go with the flow. I need to be more like him. One day maybe we will be able to camp in Ocean City State Park and have it NOT rain on us. Until then we will continue to try, I can do it if Max can do it.

First Day of School

Max had his first day of school on Thursday. He goes two days a week to a local school close to the house. He was soooo excited to be starting school and talked about it for weeks. We went and visited the school back in June and he was ready then.

In all the excitement and anticipation I forgot one very important thing...to tell him that he would be staying at the school by himself. It didn't seem to matter to him. We gingerly approached him to say goodbye and ask for kisses and all he said was, "Go!" Clearly, I was worried for nothing. 

Here are some great pictures from the day!

Max is saying, "First day of school!"

 I can't tell you how excited he was, but you can see it in his face!

 I walked behind them in case I felt the overwhelming desire to bawl my eyes out! I didn't do it on the way there. I did it as we were leaving our baby with strangers after he unceremoniously told us to go!

 Waiting for them to open the doors. Miss Leslie opened them and called out to Max welcoming him to school.

While he was in school, I got to spend some quality time with my good friend Dorothy. We sat and ate coffee cake while talking about kids and raising them. It helped me to not sit at home alone and dwell on my little man taking his first big steps out into the world. Thanks Dorothy, your the greatest!

 All the kids were given treats for the 1st day. Not a regular thing, thank goodness! He also hit a major milestone, no accidents and telling his teachers he had to potty, twice!! I probably would have given him candy for that too! What a big boy!

 This beautiful piece of art work now graces our refridgerator. I can't wait to have more of his creations proudly displayed.

The Circus Came To Town

So here is a post about meltdowns.

On Saturday, I gave Terry the day off. He headed down to Lake Washington to hang out with a friend. I went into Bellevue to the mall to let Max get his wiggles out at the play area on the 3rd floor. Then I took him to the Lego store for a treat for being such a good boy over the last few weeks. The day was great! Max, Isabel and I stopped at the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. We headed home and he fell asleep in the car, so did Isabel, of course.

My first dilema was getting 2 sleeping children out of the car. Who do I leave inside the car while I take the other one up? After considering it the entire drive home, I took Isabel up first and left her in the carseat. Then I went down for Max. Dilema solved. I was feeling pretty good about myself.

Max was down for the count, Isabel was a different story all together. She chose not to take a nap and stayed up the whole time. There went my nap opportunity. It was right about the time that Max woke up that Isabel finally fell asleep, for 30 minutes.

Fast forward to 6:00pm

So now I am trying to get dinner going when Max starts to have a meltdown. The reason for which I have no idea...then Isabel starts crying. I don't mean the kind of, I am tired or I am hungry crying, but the shrieking out of pain from gas kind of crying. So there I sat in between 2 wailing children, dinner boiling over, and here comes the cat adding her voice the litany.

I lost my cookies to. I had to walk upstairs, leaving Max by himself, put Isabel down in her bed and walk into the bathroom and close the door for a minute. I felt like a horrible parent, but in that moment there was nothing else I could do. I took a few deep breaths and cried. I know this will get easier. I know it was just an off moment in time. As a wise friend told me, "tomorrow is another day." At some point it will be a better day, it will get easier.

When Terry got home that night, after Max went to bed, I finished feeding Isabel and handed her over to him to burp and put her down to sleep. I rolled over in bed and promptly went to sleep myself. It was an exhausting day. Good and bad, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I am writing this down so that I don't forget that even though things were hard, I made it through and I am a better mother for it.

 All I can do is love my children and tell them that I love them each and everyday.